Ramblings in Detroit

Cancer is no respecter of persons, and the people watching has been fascinating .
Was able to attend the Penile Rehab Class this morning. But I wasn't making any jokes there..because everyone else was . We have walked a fine line here between being frank and open, and listening to crass and uber obvious jokes. Some things are and should be private. How odd that I was the prud in the class group.

The perky coordinator that I mentioned before, she was very kind and efficient . But she Also made some weird comments...like, on the way to the post op she said," let's go see your honey bunny" ..several times. Ok, whatever. Kevin was covered up somewhat,but not on his chest and she squealed,"oh women would love him in Asia..they go crazy over hairy men like him.". Eh ?!!! Then he said something and she squeled again over his baritone voice.Then she told him that she had hand picked only the prettiest nurses to attend to him. I think that she was trying to be nice but it reminded me of the incident at Kelly and Bo's reception. A neighbor of the Bowens shook my hand in the receiving line and said," Oh, your daughter got the pick of the litter. When I drive by their house and Brian ( Bo ) is mowing the lawn with his shirt off I have to drive around the block again." Hello ? Melissa was yaking at the front of the line and it wasn't moving and I was stuck with this neighbor. Exactly what does one say After that ?!! And what does one say to a perky coordinator when she is going on about ..well..I don't know. It was just weird. She had a little rubber toy today that had an inflatable penis when it was squeezed. people were hugging her and telling her how much they loved her. Hmmmm, Fascinating people watching here.

Kevin is doing better today and resting. We are doing good.

Ack!! Story continues...

That's embarrassing..but alas, typical.

Anyway, I am chalking up his strange behavior to coming out of surgery. The intern ( or whatever he is ) is trying to explain to me that the internal catheter is not working ( internal as in it was inserted right below his belly button during surgery into his bladder..it is a Huge leap from the usual catheter.) This was a Very important item to Kevin. He discussed it often with the doctor who assured him that all would be well. nonetheless Kevin worried about this. There was no output however and this Chinese intern - did I mention that? I am sure he is an excellent doctor, but his English was..pretty non-existent - says he has to put in a real catheter. Kevin becomes coherent enough to say " No No..No." Oh geez, his very worst nightmare coming to pass. I think the Chinese doctor was telling me that if it worked maybe we could go back to the other way. but I honestly can't say that is what he was saying for sure and I would ask the nurses and they would say..ask him he is the doctor. What?! Kevin was cramping up terribly and something had to be done..so we went with the dreaded outside catheter. yeah, he drained a liter out in about 30 seconds . later that evening the Real doctor ( who is Awesome ) comes in and is joking about Kevin taking out 5 nurses in the post op..and is sorry that Kevin was able to pull his catheter out. HUH? So after all of Kevins worrying..HE is the one that went wild and ruined the ideal catheter. oh well, we go back to the main premise that he is cancer free..and the other is just kind of a funny story now. Well, maybe not this week,but I am sure in time it will be.

We are in healing mode. I am thinking "secret life of bees" ..get out the honey and a wooden masthead.

September is prostate awareness month

And Kevin is the poster man for it !! He is cancer free and we are So grateful. I am considering deleting that -because obviously - " grateful" doesn't even begin to convey how " happy" ( not the best word choice either ) we are to have a healthy Kevin back with us. He would have surely slipped away from us with that aggressive time bomb inside of him. It is a thought I can not even consider ( ok, I did consider it a lot in the middle of the night!!) I just wish that everyone's battle with the nasty C could be dealt with in one operation. And please, don't take that as a trite comment..as it really is not meant as one. My brain and emotions are fried and I probably shouldn't even be writing on here.

But so many people have so wonderful in asking about Kevin and keeping him in their prayers..that I have to write somethig !

here is the update. We are already backnat the hotel. Kevin is doing good..but the day after surgery finds him in pain and discomfort. The discharge took forever and left him exhausted. We walked in our room and there was a big "edible arrangement" from his office coworkers. How thoughtful ! We are surrounded by lovely, concerned people ! Now we are here in The Henry for the next week healing.

I want to share a few stories from the past 36 hours. Henry Ford built this hospital in the early 1900's for the people of Detroit. As you drive down the Grand Blvd. You can tell that this was once a truly beautiful area. Old stately homes and grand civic buildings ( including the hospital.) But now the buildings are empty shells with all their windows broken. The houses that are occupied look like crack houses, or worse. It is just so sad to see. But, you know, that everyone we talked to ( and Devin, you would be Way proud of How many strangers I have struck up conversations with!) truly love Michigan and feel so badly about Detroit. I think that it is her citizens that will eventually save this motor city. Michigan pride..woot woot.

I remember how Trevor Back use to love working in the poorer areas when he was serving his mission here. But I am fairly certain that they still weren't allowed in this particular area. We arrived at the hospital at 5:45 am and sat down in the surgical waiting room. I use to think that they had Hollywoodized the waiting room on shows like "ER". Um, no..I think they filmed it here. Toto, I don't think we are in the American Fork hospital waiting room anymore ! SCARY. The pre-op was akin to the Ford assemble line we had seen the day before. Albeit, a ton more chaotic. I couldn't even tell you How Many people were jammed into this area. yeah, I was having some second and third thoughts about this decision to come here.But when I focused on how good and caring most of the people were being I eased up. The doctor and his team are mostly Indians and they were so gracious ( you know how I love all things Indian..this was a Good sign.) Quick kiss and Kevin was off, and I went back to the "ER" waiting room. I watched the people in this room and wondered about all their stories. A gal across from me was talking on her cell phone telling someone how her son was in surgery right now for a GSW ( "Law and Order"education.) I was there for awhile witnessing these kind of things when I was suddenly sidled away by a perky coordinator from the medical group to a special waiting room. Much nicer accommodations, boxes of pastries ( not the Albertson kind ) a retrieve stocked with drinks and other culinary delights, a computer to use,more magazine choices that an airport newsstand, and thisnpeky coordinator to cater to my every wish. I felt so guilty being in there and leaving those other people who could really have used this kindness way more than me. Ok..I am getting more sidetracked than a railroad station. Sorry.

The operation lasted about 2 1/2 hours. I knew he was out because the nurse in the OR kept calling me with updates and then ton tell me that the surgery was completed. I had asked before if I could be in the post op when Kevin came out and that was just fine. ut the perky one was stalling, " oh,we'll go in in just a few minutes." I wanted to be there when he woke up and I was rather frustrated. Sure enough when we went down He was awake. Acting different..but ok, he had just come out of anestsia . he would talk to me, but wouldn't make eye contact with any of the nurses. Odd, but evertone

Ford, Ford,Henry Ford,Ford

This name is on EVERYTHING in Detroit. I think they really like the man !!

I looked out our window of our hotel - aptly named, The Henry - and could see the Ford Motor Co. main headquarters literally across the field.
Our drive over to the hospital - yes, the Henry Ford Hospital- was on streets all named after cars..mustang,thunderbird etc.
After meeting with Kevins surgeon - ok, his name was not Ford - feeling Really good about our decision to come here we had an empty day ahead of us. Kevin is still counting down.."22 hours to cancer free..21 hours to cancer free"..and we desparately needed a diversion ! So we ventured out to the - whatelse - Henry Ford Museum. Way cool place, and even better, a tour of an actual plant where they were assembling Ford 150 trucks. Porter would have thought that he had died and gone to heaven. There wasn't a ton of people there today, but you could tell by seating and roped off lines that this is a Huge draw at the right time. It was a real guy thing, but I was happy to be there with my sweetie.
It poured rain all day, which was a Lovely respite from the arizona heat of late. It is green with lots of trees..and we are definitely a minority here. And thats cool fool - I can do black accents. Something to work on this week (or more than a week here)
Hold a GOOD thought for Kevin tomorrow. The surgery is at 8 a.m. EST..so most of you will just be getting up when - hopefuuly - he is all done and prostate free ( which should be worth a few ounces or so.) I will write again.

Motown

We have arrived in Detroit.
The flight was sooo long. I had the middle seat next to a stranger. I got a cramp in my left buttocks, and by Iowa it went numb. Oh, and the stranger put the window shade down at the get-go and I hate that! I like to see out and some sunshine before night hits. dallin knows what I am talking about.
Kevin got all choked up and teary ,then had Kelly play the piano for him. Then he really lost it. I don't know exactly How one is suppose to act before a "vacation" like this . it was going to be tough any way we went. Despite the tears, Kevin is in a pumped mood. His mantra is "48 hours til I am cancer-free.
I'll keep you posted. Reporting from beautiful, downtown Detroit.

Brianna, Cooper y Dallin

a happy man

Look how darling Dalboy is here. And the toddler with the golden locks..yeah, thats Denver. So cute, so sweet. Kevin is looking pretty happy and content. I ran across this picture this morning after Kevin left for a business meeting in Annapolis. His surgery is a week from today. He has been keeping himself real busy so as not to have too much time to dwell on this cancer. Problem for me is that I am a pre-stressor...dentist appt.,new school starting, a surgery that is hopefully going to eradicate the evil cancer from your husbands body etc. I worry and worry, but come "showtime" I am generally calm and rational. Hmmm, next tuesday..an entire week of worry. It does Not help to be alone right now. It makes me realize how awful life would be without Kevin as I go over all the "what if's" in my mind. Not that anything should go wrong..but I have watched way too many episodes of "ER" and "Grey's" to Not imagine various scenarios. Especially if it is late at night and I am alone. Of course it Is going to be just fine. Yikes..who invited Cybil to this party ?!!!!!

adaptation

Kevin took the boys to utah this week-end for a BYU football game ( he got off the red-eye from Hawaii, had Kelly drop the boys at the airport and they all caught the next flight out to Salt Lake...to no one's surprise.) So it was just me, myself and I that went to our AZ ward this morning. I sat alone, I am a big girl..I can do that. But as the meeting started I soon realized that it was the Primary Program today. It was the first time since 1986 that I haven't had a child participate in one (although we have had our share of children - mostly Dalboy - who refused to say their lines from time to time..but there was always another sibling in the crowd to preform - mostly Kelly .) Being fresh off the open wound of leaving Kerriann in Hawaii this was Not a good place to be alone. So I did elaborate doodles and even wrote kerriann a note - because that is what I normally do in sacrament meeting. I stuck it out and went to my other meetings.

Kelly and Bo's ward meets in our same building, just a couple of hours later. So I stayed and went to their sacrament meeting because Kelly was preforming ( see above..most things never change.) I sat down with them and the whole row - in the middle bigger section even - was family. Melissa ( Bo's mum ) was there from utah tending two of her granddaughters , Bo's sister ,husband and two young boys, and then my favorite little Bowen branch - Kelly, Bo and Cooper. It made me So happy to take over a whole row again..just like old times !! Although the Bowens aren't as loud and rowdy as our clan. But it was lovely. Adaptations happen..but if you give it a bit something new always comes around.

aloha oe

ja, we can save the turtles.

BYU Hawaii campus

This is my happy place.

Shouldn't saying good-bye to my children be common place by now ?! Ohhhh, This was a Tough one. We were having such a great week together there in Laie..and then the brutal truth of us having to go home reared its ugly head.

Kevin says the day before we leave, " you two are so close..this is probably going to be hard." Hmmmm, I guess I have only been thinking about it for the past couple of years!! This was no drop-your-daughter-off-several-miles-down-the-road-at-Provo kind of deal. This was MTC curbside worthy. Ouch. There is this big,old ocean between us now. I have a hard enough time when our vacation comes to a close..but to leave Kerriann behind was brutal.

But the week we had there with her only served to confirm that she is where she is suppose to be. What an awesome opportunity for her ! I love the smallness of the campus. Not too big, not too medium sized..just right. Waiting in lines - which was merely a fact of daily life both at Cal and BYU - are non-existent there. The dorms ( hale's) are a stones throw away ( even for my wimpy girl talents.) The parking lot for the dorms only has a spattering of cars. Most students get around on cruiser bikes. She liked her classes. Thinks her single room is ideal. Everything is just going so well.

I remember years ago when Amie was getting ready to attend college down in Cedar City and Sue was so concerned over how much life was going to change with her gone. Well, we all learned a lesson..not very much. Kerriann has seen Devin, Kelly and Dallin go on their walk-abouts and come back to the family. I think it is reassuring for her and me. Our family is a constant,going away to college doesn't change that..just adds a new flavor to the pot. wow..heavy.

Sabbath day in Paradise

You know where I am then. Hawaii. Everything looks and smells and sounds so familiar now. It feels like home. And now with Kerriann living here..it truly is a part of our home.

I wake up super early our first morning on the island. I sit out on the deck to watch the day come on. As usual I can hear the hotel staff setting up the lounge chairs down around the pool before I can even see them. the surf sounds delicious. Kerriann joins me as the sky begins to lighten. She looks across the Turtle Bay complex. There is one woman also out on her deck..only one mind you..and Kerriann says - doesn't that woman look like Chere ? ( a dear neighbor/friend back in Alpine.) And - of course - it was. The world is such a teeny, tiny place !

Our setting Kerriann up at BYU Hawaii has been full of moments like that. I am so happy that she has chosen to go here. It seems like such a great fit. This morning we went to her new ward with her. There was Chere and several other Alpine mums sitting behind us, and then Dan Ord comes in and sits next to Kevin. How fun and familiar. We meet her new Bishop..Fatafehi Niutupuivaha. Awesome. The ward is a wonderful swirl of Polynesians,Asians and - Kevin counted- 5 white boys. Toto, I don't think we are in Utah anymore.

We ate lunch at a shrimp truck with Dan and his son Nick that is just starting here too. We adults are so jealous of the experience they are about to embark on !! How lucky they are. I want to stay and go to this college !

The good news is that I still have 5 more days here.

Aloha.

a rare sighting

I rarely publish pictures of myself. I didn't get the photogenic gene that most others around me do. There has been 33 days of 110+ weather in Phoenix..seriously..I am sure it had to be 94 days. what does one do with all that indoor time..look through pictures of course. And i thought to myself - yeah, I like those pictures. they show the love around me. Put them on the blog.